This last week has been a roller coaster ride for me. Honestly, the last week and this week has been a rough ride. I’ve been laid off, found out that WSU has a Women’s Soccer club that just started, and trying to figure out everything that I need before the semester starts. All of that on top of applying to over 15 jobs in the past two weeks, because I will be out of a job tomorrow and need to pay for gas, books and a parking permit. Welcome to my Senior Year!
So to begin with my rough week, last Tuesday when I was getting ready to close the office that I work at, my bosses pulled me aside and told me that they have to let me go as of tomorrow (8/8). Of course, they apologized and offered to take my resume to other departments on campus to find other jobs, but it still hurt and the fact that they waited until 5 p.m. to even mention it to me as if they thought I’d get mad at them for laying me off. There are so many people that will be laid off in years to come if you haven’t been already and it won’t be the last time either.
To give you some background on the “Why” I got laid off….it’s simple, I guess. The Engineering department at WSU is undergoing more changes, specifically with the Student Success Center and Dean’s office. Because this is happening, the student assistants from both departments have to merge meaning; the 3 student assistants from the Student Success Center would be integrating with the 5 student assistants in Dean’s office, which if you think about doesn’t give many hours to every student assistant. So the next thing they decided to do was to lay off 3 student assistants. Thus, where my situation comes in to play. I knew deep down at some point, some student assistants would be laid off, but considering I had been there the longest…I thought I’d be more likely to stay on. This was NOT how it planned out at all and it was only the beginning of my week.
On Wednesday, I had found out that there was a WSU Women’s Soccer club and heard that Tryouts were going to be in September. I was so ecstatic!!!! It had been since my Junior year at my local high school, that I had a chance to practice or scrimmage. The entire morning I had gone back and forth on whether or not to message the President of the Club or not. I had a million questions going through my head like; “What if I can’t find time in my schedule this semester?” – which was a HUGE question, “Would they require a lot of commitment, even for College Students?“, “Since they are practicing with the Men’s Soccer team, I wonder if I’ll look like a fool out there. I haven’t practiced or stayed in shape since High School.” and of course, “If I do end up going tonight, what’s the harm? I would get a workout, meet new people and enjoy what I still love doing even if I’m an average player.” So I decided to go, after several hours of me just going over every scenario in my head.
Everyone that knows me knows that every time I get ready to go practice or play a game…my stomach gets these huge butterflies to the point I feel like I’m going to be sick. I had this feeling the entire way to the practice field that night, but once I met the first girl my butterflies went away completely. The men still seemed and looked intimidating, considering that they had been practicing a lot longer than any of the girls that night have until I got out there and enjoyed every bit of the practice. After the practice, I hadn’t felt so exhilarated and happy in a long time.
Now this week, I’m battling with my mind and heart over this topic. My heart is completely into the sport, and going to the practices and games; while my mind is concerned about balancing everything from school, finding a new job, shadowing and the other organizations that I help with during the semester.
So far, my mind is winning as I am more concerned about finding a job to help pay for gas, books, parking permit and other things that are necessary to survive my Senior year at my University. As much as I hate to tear soccer away from myself, I also have to think logically and realistically because my degree is so much more important and so is paying bills in the future. It’s one of the struggles that every College student has to deal with during their College Career. The huge question of…”How am I going to live off the pay check I just made this pay period, when I have to pay for Textbooks, Parking Permit, Tuition, and pay my rent and groceries this month?”. I’ve had this question so many times this week, aside from worrying about rent and groceries. I may still live with my parents, but they don’t have the money to help with College fees, books or anything like that. I’m lucky that they are still letting me live here in the first place until I graduate. For those who live by themselves or with roommates may have this questions a lot more than I do. Even then, every College student knows the struggle of trying to find money for bills or fees that need to be paid, and the struggle of finding a job that pays enough and is flexible with school.
My point is, yes being a College student is rough, but being an adult is even harder because of the choices you have to make, even the ones you may hate in the end. I may love to play soccer or perform theatre, but my future career and current career are way more important than something I may or may not get paid for. As a College student, it comes down to the fact, “If I do this, will I enjoy my line of work and live comfortably off of this career?”. I had to make a decision this week, and it may hurt right now but in the long run after I get my degree in Psychology….I will forever be grateful to my 22-year-old self for making the right decision for myself at the time. I don’t know about you, but I feel like that is a great start for my Senior Year.
From the Ashes,
The Rising Phoenix